Sunday, April 26, 2009

My Town Exports Freaks

I was bored/surfing/tooling the internet for something to look at, such as Vice's 'Do's and Don'ts' photo fashion series when the familiar face of the Great Orbax, a former freak resident of my city, Guelph, jumped out from their homepage, on

Click here to watch the interview

He took Physics at the same university that I went to, was friends with friends of mine, and I would see him out viewing championship wrestling or go to see his 'Freak Shows' when he hosted them annually at the E-bar. (You can still see the "Freak Show" graffitti in a blood drip font on the side of my building. Someone must have done it to advertise one of the shows. I think someone complained about it to Dr. Orbax, who himself didn't encourage it, but was a victim of being loved and promoted by arsonists.)

At the Freak Shows, I always suspected that both practice and skill were involved in his odd, physically dangerous stunts. Attempting things like smashing cinderblocks with sledgehammers on people's bodies, were something only someone very calculated and careful would ever attempt (if they were in their right mind at all) and putting tubes down your nose down into your stomach, pumping in blue and yellow liquid, and manually pushing green liquid back out? That was something else! However, accidents can always happen, which is why Cris Angel stuff like this always takes so much meticulous preparation. When I saw this trick performed once, and the hammer came down, the "China Doll's" stomach, on which the cinder block lay, was not even bruised, but little did anyone know that one of the chunks of smashed block would hit her foot, and make her bleed on stage. Dr. Orbax knows that the distribution of force in that cinder block will allow it to shatter without it doing damage to the body behind it, but he couldn't anticipate where the pieces would land once the block broke.

I'm sure the China Doll is fine today, and Dr. Orbax hasn't suffered too much more than 3rd degree burns all over his body. As for myself, I have a weak stomach for seeing people get their tongues caught in mousetraps and the like, but I'm entertained to think someone who I know from my city is world-renowned enough to be interviewed by Vice Magazine.


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