Thursday, January 25, 2007

Mental Chores

My memory scuttles across the veranda
Like silverfish that I thought I had killed
Can’t remember where I put my favourite pen
I could have sworn but that wouldn't be polite

The application must be completed
Nothing can NOTHING can be unprepared
So it’s not our fault if you lost your password
Probably your own butterfingers, chum

Like it or not it’s about time you grow up
Accept your something or at first deciding
What is it? What was it? Where is it going?
Do I look like a Prophet?

Suddenly everything gets so damn serious
Going through my mid-minute crisis again
Where do I start my post-theorem thesis?
When exactly do I drive home the point?

It’s relative whether moral relativity is prudent
Practical uses have a very short shelf-life
To act against will or to will your own outcome
Carpe diem! Do and be damned!

Decisions, decisions, clutter my closet
Priorities prick me in every which way
If I do A then X will be helpless
It’s ok, he always was lame.

Hands off my counter! I’ll set it when ready
Urgent to you is a bit out of line
Timing my time off, I know you are ticking
But who’s the boss if no one’s at work?


Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Deep Thoughts with Sir Barrett

Being a good pianist and being a good typist are very much the same thing except that when you play the keyboard, there is no music.

Monday, January 22, 2007

Book Drive 2007

When I was a kid, I found reading difficult and exhausting, trying to sound out the words in my head. Then, found some books that piqued my interest. I started reading Hardy Boys books and other detective novellas like Scarface which I loved.

Up until the end of this month, (you have a few days left so hurry!!) Ontarians can donate lightly used children and youth books (up to grade 8 level) off at any OPP or Toronto Police Services station.

There are studies suggesting that simply having books around children, within their reach, can influence their proficiency at reading, which is a practical and enjoyable skill to possess for the rest of their lives.

If you can look in the boxes of your basements or cluttering your shelves for childrens books, please be generous.

Thanks Jennifer for bringing this to my attention.

General Announcements

Friday, January 19, 2007

Others Step in When Songster Goes Silent

My roomate has a show next week but what my roomate doesn't have is a voice. Therefore, my roomate has a dilemma.

As a creative individual he's decided to get some sidekicks to form a small choir and sing for him. I thought that was a neat idea. We'll see how it turns out on stage next Thursday at the Ebar, in Guelph. In the meantime, I've gotten his permission to publish one of his song lyrics.

"Hide and go seek

terrorism's good at hiding
we're really good at finding it
little game of hide and go seek
never hurt anybody

terrorism's easy to define
terrorism’s easy to define
anyone who hates the homeland
anyone who hates their homeland

force us focus on your anti-christ
chasing wild geese so we divert our eyes
what will you do while we count to ten
how many more of us will have seen your face by then

when all the guns are gone
when all the wars are fought and won
when all the nukes are none
when there's nothing left to rebuild on

when all the guns are gone x4

force us focus on your anti-christ
chasing wild geese so we divert our eyes
what will you do while we count to ten
how many more of us will have seen your face by then"
-Richard Laviolette

General Announcements

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Plan for the Day

Up and at it before noon. A little later than ideal. Radio on. Complaints about the traffic. It's like Canadians forgot what snow was. Pull on a sweater and jog around the block. Watch out for ice. Hit the shower. Fry some eggs and drink some green tea. Organize laundry into piles. Pick out the suit that spells "success". Apply for a couple of jobs online. Remember to relate only the most relevant skills. Go down to the public library. Check in the newspaper listings. Talk to a familiar face on the street. Ask for pointers. Take a bus to the motel where I used to work before my most recent job. Try to track down record of employment. Talk to new owner about working with them. It would have to be for decent salary. And days only. Back on the bus. Read some Shakespeare. Wonder if the exhibit will be open today. An authentic portrait dated back to 1600? See for yourself. Go home before dark. Turn on the oven. See where housemates are. Browse the news online. Practice the new song on guitar. Hammer out the rough patches. Go out for a bit with an old friend. Come back. Recite a poem. Go to bed.

Personal Diegesis

Friday, January 12, 2007


"We're closing the store NOW," he said, "...and we're letting you both go." I was surprised and I wasn't. Part of it hadn't registered yet. We both just nodded as we started to collect our things. While I had been joking about both the RVP and the Regional Manager coming down because I suspected they wanted to "fire" us, I didn't actually think they were going to lay off my manager too, who has been with the company for over two years! As I have been saying, business had been slow which is why they misleadingly told us all they were moving us to another store (in a better consumer area) but because there wasn't actually a lease for another store and since they weren't actually planning to get another lease for several months, they had to make this strictly "business decision" and see us off.

It's a shock when a job comes to an end without notice. At least I got some severance to give me time until the end of the month to look for something new. I say to myself: "Sir Barrett, you are a 'Communications Consultant' or cell phone salesman no more. You're back to square one, just as jobless as we all start out."

Just yesterday morning while walking to work I had a teenager stop me on the street and ask: "Do you remember me? How do you set up voicemail?" I explained how and then he ran off. I have seen others donning the earphones I sold them while boarding the city bus, holding up their mp3 phones and shouting 'Thank You!' through the din of urban chatter. It is heart-warming.

However, the not-so-pleasant thing is that those extra moments helping customers didn't seem to translate to the higher-ups and I am envious of those who are rewarded for profit though they lack basic manners and integrity. There are times spent explaining a customer's options and consoling them after their phone has been tragically run over by an SUV when no money is generated. But they can't measure these good customer interactions because all they calculate is the dollar value of profit...which is why they transferred and kept my one coworker...because he made lots of profit. Nevermind that he often told customers things that I clearly understood to be untrue or that he would make promises to them that would only be broken after they had been charged their first bill. I had heard customers refer to him as the "used car salesmen of phones" and other names I will not repeat. I realized that if that is what competition means, I do not want to run in that kind of rat race.

So, I was about to write a blog about how the new Apple iPhone isn't so revolutionary other than that the touch screen technology that has been around for a long time now includes the keypad when this happened. I was going to explain that the BlackBerry Pearl already has most of the features the iPhone is being praised for and how it's all just media hoopla causing people not to be able to wait to get their hands on Jonathan Ive's sweetest design but I'm far too busy going to placement agencies and looking through the paper in the Employment section. I was also going to suggest that the reason RIM's shares have been dropping this past week isn't because most business people will adopt the iPhone over the BlackBerry but because a predicted partnership between the two companies to make an 'AppleBerry' never went through. However, I don't talk economics. Lastly, I was going to sadistically cackle about how Steve Jobs (the man behind Apple) will have fun dealing with injunction battles and legal disputes, just like Jim Balsalie (RIM CEO) did, now that Cisco Communications has sued Apple over the iPhone name, but of course I try not to spread negative energy and I hardly read the news so I won't talk about it at all.

Maybe I'm just upset because I don't have a job.

"Most people don't plan to fail, they fail to plan"

On the bright side, I suppose I don't even need to fill out my vacation request, it's already been approved.


Tuesday, January 09, 2007

CSS: Music Vid of the Week


...It doesn't sound like a bad idea. This band of Brazilian babes is so much fun to watch and listen to. Refer also to "Alala" which is a fun zombie/high school dance video and super catchy song. Way retro, way cool and creative. Indy videos are always the best, even in their lowest budget moments. Enjoy!

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Diamonds in the Sky

"Twinkle, twinkle, little star. How I wonder what you are. Up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky."

There really are diamonds in the sky! Hence the new star they are naming 'Lucy'.

I never knew this, but Blackbird sent me this BBC article re: the giant diamond star that astronomers discovered humming around some 50 light years away from the Earth.

Apparently, after stars burn out, their cores compress and turn into jewels. They predict that in the next 5 billion years, the sun will cool its blazing hydrogen and turn into crystal diamonds. Will anyone be around to marvel at it's worth?

News Reviews

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Probably The Most Exciting Thing that Happened to Me Today

No. I wasn't visited by Marisa Miller in my haystack. Although we share a love of volleyball, that was not it.

I spent the day at work, as usual.

Probably the most exciting thing that happened to me was that after I had hung my coat on the hook and was attempting to leave, the keys that were hanging by a lanyard from my neck got caught in the pocket and yanked me back. I turned to my coat and said, "Hey now! Don't be grabby!" (I think it was actually trying to strangle me). After that reprimand the coat was so ashamed of itself that it didn't even have a word to say.

I find little ways of amusing myself.

The second most exciting thing that happened to me today was that I was visited by Death. Mr.Death. I commented that it was a strong last name and couldn't resist the urge to ask whether he fancied wearing a black robe and lurking outside people's houses. "No, I'm not into the goth thing," he stated. He went outside and had a cigarette while I finished activating his phone and then, instead of taking off with my life, he left with a new Nokia 6133. He was probably my second customer all day.

If my week keeps getting more exciting I might just faint. Maybe I need to take a valium. Maybe I need a vacation? Watching the promotional posters to make sure they don't move is just too riveting. I guess what I'm really saying is that now that the Christmas season is over, business has been about as fast-paced as senior citizen on morphine.

Personal Diegesis
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