Don't Get it Twisted

My day is going by about as fast as this guy's beats. He does a nice impression of Usher btw. I'm on the phone off again like a wild fish in the rapids...because it's Christmas time and everyone wants a phone!

Last night one of my customers came over and it turns out that we have more than just professional interests in mind. In fact, we're practically alternate versions of each other sharing many interests including music, food, snowboarding, biking and scary movies. So we ate a pineapple, something called "sugar cakes" from the Chinese store, watched Blade II and played guitar.

In terms of songs and styles, I showed her mine and then she showed me hers. There's a divergence there...or else you can call it a compliment. She's a metal head and I'm more of a lounge singer. But I'm not going to lie, her riffs rocked me.

I almost had to warn her not to "get it twisted" after she made fun of Stella, my guitar. She said that she hated the way Fender Squier's sounded like they were "tin cans" because of the "cheap warehouse-made pickups" though admitted my Stella is in beautiful shape without a wee knick considering she was made in Korea before Kurt even died in 1994.

So I grabbed her by the hair then I kicked her out of my house, booting her off my porch for being so generous as to bring me food and give me tips on upgrading my Stella. No, I walked her to her work so that she could start her night shift as an office maid. Then I went home and tried to sleep.

But sleep I couldn't. A cold sweat overcame me and I felt like I was on fire. This is bad news considering my manager was off for a few days on the suspicion that she had mononucleousis. I don't want that. She said "you won't know for 6-8 weeks whether you caught it from me." "But ---, I couldn't have gotten it from you. We only had sex. We didn't kiss," I joked. When the results of her blood work came back, it turns out she doesn't have the dreaded "kissing disease" but something else. I suggested maybe it was this instead.

Strangely, today I am feeling as robust as ever. Was it all a dream?

So I warn you children, be weary of siecles in the sky and shrill shrieks from characters other than Santa Claus during this highly stressful season of festivity. I do not want to see the black curtain lain over thee!!

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