Thursday, September 11, 2008

Particle Acceleration or the Death of our Nation?

Please note, this image is outdated and inaccurate. The Hadron Collider will not fucking kill you dead in May 2008. We already know that. Please update your schedules to anticipate being killed fucking dead in the next month or so.

Last night a few of my friends we’re talking about science. I wasn’t really paying attention (science, schmience) until one friend of mine groaned and said “We’re all going to die!” “Why?” I asked, suddenly intrigued by the prospect of death. “It’s going to create a black hole and implode us!”

It took me another moment to gather that they were talking about the Hadron Collider, the world’s most powerful particle accelerator, which
sent its first beam of protons racing at nearly the speed of light yesterday.

The collaboration of scientists at the CERN laboratory in Geneva, Switzerland want to activate its other arms later this month. The idea is to send two streams of protons in opposite directions around its 17-mile long circular path, and watch what happens when they smash into eachother. Their hope is to gain insight into dark matter and the origin of the universe.

But what if something completely unexpected happens? The scientists themselves EXPECT something unexpected to happen. We have less than a month to live before seeing (or not seeing) for ourselves. That’s how long it will take scientists to align the beams for a head-on collision. My friends swear apocalypse is coming. I hope to prove them wrong. (Well, it won’t really be me proving, it will be the protons).

Maybe we will just end up in another dimension.


News Reviews

8 Comments:

Blogger Devil Mood said...

Hmm...another dimension doesn't sound so bad, does it? But being fucking dead does, lol.

It's funny that a small group of people might just decided to kill us all in a couple of seconds. What do you think it would be like if we all imploded? We'd never know what's hit us.

11:09 AM  
Blogger sirbarrett said...

Looks like we might have gotten away Scot free on this one...I don't feel fucking dead anyway. Time to go back to worrying about anti ballistic missiles and hurricanes.

I don't know what it would feel like to implode, but I wrote about it in one of my songs:

"If the whole world were to implode
Then I'd hope that you were at its center
Cause then I'd come back to you
When everything else is through
We'd have ourselves one great end forever." -from 'Starstruck', hopefully to be recorded soon.

8:16 AM  
Blogger Devil Mood said...

Oh I didn't know you wrote songs! Cool lyric :)

10:41 AM  
Blogger Chloe said...

maybe as a result of this experiment Greece will move towards Canada. This is going to create a hellish amount of dark matter.
Also, have you read this?
www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/weather/article4734518.ece

Life may just end one morning as we open the fridge to get the milk. There's a light and then boom.

4:07 PM  
Anonymous Ashli said...

The other day in my Computer Science class this came up.

My feeling is..so be it. If the world is going to implode because us humans insist on knowing everything it serves us right.

Hoorah for black holes.

5:06 PM  
Anonymous Ashli said...

The other day in my Computer Science class this came up.

My feeling is..so be it. If the world is going to implode because us humans insist on knowing everything it serves us right.

Hoorah for black holes.

ps-I'm posting twice just so my url will show up.

5:08 PM  
Blogger Phronk said...

In my view, the very small risk of something going catastrophically wrong is worth the very big reward of figuring out the universe.

5:23 PM  
Blogger {illyria} said...

and this is why i firmly believe that one day, humanity will succeed in wiping any traces of itself from the face of the planet. yay.

2:27 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

Who Links Here