Stay Away from the Big Bad Cold
In a small community, cars in a queue manage to maneouver slippery streets, pedestrians rush to get back inside and experts weild barmetors and report on the current situation with the weather while others are hooked to their tvs and content to live safely in blankets listening for news of the dangers out there.
A voice came across a wavelength projected through a radio announcing: "...there is a high of -8 degrees Celcius, with a wind-chill of -30 for the Kitchener-Waterloo region" (Basically: if you go outside, it's going to hurt).
I walk out my basement door, sheltered by a small dug-in cove up to the waist with cement stairs, leading to the snow covered lawn. I'm not prepared for what is to come when suddenly I'm smacked straight across my face by the cold!! It deals cheaply as the malevolent nasty brute that it is, attacking from all sides, hissing to set everything to ice with it's breath.
It holds me in it's claw. Oh the stinging, demobilizing cold! I fight it off as easily as a lame deer can run from a pack of wolves, but feeling that I am sinking to it, becoming more weak. At first I shiver and that keeps me occupied. Then it stops. Then I just give into the cold for a moment, knowing it wouldn't kill me. Mind over matter, I think. The joints of my fingers feel like nothing, my hands feel like nothing, or at least they begin to feel like nothing, because they're getting numb.
I go in when it's just about time. After checking to see I'm intact, I run my hands under warm water. This is such a rush, but then they start to tingle uncontrollably. (you're doing this with me now. I demonstrate) It shocks your skin like you wouldn't believe! (In a good way though, it's worth it heehee, tingly) Your fingers swell red like grapefruit pieces. You breath in deeply and let it out massaging your fingers "ahhhhhhhh" and then turn on the fire and sit down and begin over your keyboard with finger exercises: bend, lightly, bend. Your face begins to regain feeling, you remember what it's like to have voluntary facial reactions instead of static climate-imposed ones and start being able to perform them. Ah look! You're smiling. The cold kicks your ass and turns your nose into a freezie but then when you get away from it, though it thaws it still stays in you deep in your bones, like the smart of a sucker punch. You shake it off and eventually take refuge in something warm -a giant coverlet, and fall asleep in it's safe but temporary relief from the knowledge that tomorrow, again you will have to face the cold.
The cold is always waiting, just outside the door.
A voice came across a wavelength projected through a radio announcing: "...there is a high of -8 degrees Celcius, with a wind-chill of -30 for the Kitchener-Waterloo region" (Basically: if you go outside, it's going to hurt).
I walk out my basement door, sheltered by a small dug-in cove up to the waist with cement stairs, leading to the snow covered lawn. I'm not prepared for what is to come when suddenly I'm smacked straight across my face by the cold!! It deals cheaply as the malevolent nasty brute that it is, attacking from all sides, hissing to set everything to ice with it's breath.
It holds me in it's claw. Oh the stinging, demobilizing cold! I fight it off as easily as a lame deer can run from a pack of wolves, but feeling that I am sinking to it, becoming more weak. At first I shiver and that keeps me occupied. Then it stops. Then I just give into the cold for a moment, knowing it wouldn't kill me. Mind over matter, I think. The joints of my fingers feel like nothing, my hands feel like nothing, or at least they begin to feel like nothing, because they're getting numb.
I go in when it's just about time. After checking to see I'm intact, I run my hands under warm water. This is such a rush, but then they start to tingle uncontrollably. (you're doing this with me now. I demonstrate) It shocks your skin like you wouldn't believe! (In a good way though, it's worth it heehee, tingly) Your fingers swell red like grapefruit pieces. You breath in deeply and let it out massaging your fingers "ahhhhhhhh" and then turn on the fire and sit down and begin over your keyboard with finger exercises: bend, lightly, bend. Your face begins to regain feeling, you remember what it's like to have voluntary facial reactions instead of static climate-imposed ones and start being able to perform them. Ah look! You're smiling. The cold kicks your ass and turns your nose into a freezie but then when you get away from it, though it thaws it still stays in you deep in your bones, like the smart of a sucker punch. You shake it off and eventually take refuge in something warm -a giant coverlet, and fall asleep in it's safe but temporary relief from the knowledge that tomorrow, again you will have to face the cold.
The cold is always waiting, just outside the door.
posted by sirbarrett at 8:35 p.m.
5 Comments:
"The joints of my fingers feel like nothing, my hands feel like nothing, or at least they begin to feel like nothing, because they're getting numb."
"Your fingers swell red like grapefruit pieces."
How, how - HOW DOES THIS HELP???? Oh God!!!
What does it mean it stays deep in your bones even after you THAW??? People shouldn't thaw, people aren't frozen filets! And look, -30ºC WILL kill you what do you mean it wouldn't? This just gets worse and worse every time I read it - and I can't stop reading, I'm fascinated by this bloody post, what were you thinking! Oh this is bad, this is so bad.
^^chill out^^
Not sure about the "out", pretty certain of the "chill"
?
not out about the "sure", pretty chill about the "certain".
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