Monday, June 05, 2006

A Job? What's a Job?

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So Jimmy's BBQ was "star racking" with the stellar preparation of the cooks, the little jokes from the rain gods, meeting tonnes of bloggers like Crucible, Miss Thistle, Your Judgmental Aunt and more. Mitzee and I finally got to meet after over a year of mutual cyber-stalking.

"J" (Jeff) reminded me that I haven't updated you recently on the other main issues of my life, such as the restaurant biz, for example. Well, this is Writings of Faith afterall, not Writings of Doom, so I guess the reason I wasn't saying anything about my job is because I was trying to be positive...and I don't have one. Yeah, when the cook who was training me quit they never called me back. Then when I badgered them about it, they said there were too many people in the kitchen in other words: just enough people without you.

Can you tell I'm not bitter? Heck no! I'm not bitter! I'm just in denial! B doesn't get bitter. It's only been more than a month of unemployment, bring on the years! It's not like I've applied to hundreds of jobs and still not found anything! Even OUTSIDE OF MY FIELD. So I'm not going to wake up and be a speech writer but I can't even wash dishes?!! It's not like I've had to hear phrases like "we've decided to move forward with other candidates" a million times now. I've been tested, toyed with, avoided and it seems like it's just plain impossible to get your first job. Your second one is easy. No problem! You just have to somehow do something insane to get your first hijack an office. I don't care though. Nothin' gets me down. I just sing that song that I learned way back from Christian camp: "Buck up brother bill because a bunch of bitter boys became a bunch of better boys behind a big big smile...get along gang get gung ho about Jesus!"

Well, I have to admit that last week the interviews were better. I went to two separate ones where they gave me content to write an employee newsletter and design the layout with pictures and quotes. The one called me today and said they liked my writing but the fallout was simply that they had a lot of competition. The other job involved a math test and data entry as well. It was good of me to check before I started that pressing "Enter" not "Tab" advanced me to the next field. (I've made that mistake before, and it totally killed me). In terms of the math test, it went well, although I apparently don't know how to use the percentage function on the calculator, so I was dividing everything by a hundred then multiplying it to find the percentage of the number which is 38% of some other number which is the total cost minus the service fees for cleaning the pigeon excrement off of your windsheild.

Ah hang it! I don't really mind, except the whole routine is getting a little repetitive. Even where I volunteer, they're trying to get rid of me. I'm starting to exude bad karma. It's like a stench. Today I felt eyes on me. They were looking for a spot to set a fire or make the photocopier break and make it look like it was my fault. I was approached for violating the dress code because I wore shorts. Whoops! I guess it's just a little tough to bike 20 kilometres in freshly ironed dress pants! Sorry, just trying to keep the global temperature down. THROW ME A FRIGGIN BONE!!!

So yeah, I'm getting a little tired of the rigamarole but basically I have one more week of free labour (because my supervisor is a kind woman) then I'm cutting myself loose again and I MUST GET A JOB!! I was hoping that the volunteering stint might lead to something, and it's been fun, but alas, those they're considering as writers bring 20 years of experience. So next week is a new horizon. Then getting a job will be my full time job. I'll be staring down a barrel of a gun. I'm going to keep going to interviews but if this whole PR thing doesn't take me anywhere I'm going to start simply being a rock star instead and keep applying to everything. That actually seems easier than relying on others confidence in my professionalism at this moment. I understand that for them it's a leap of faith. Perhaps no one will offer me a job, but they can't stop me from getting a busking license and playing out my soul, getting into their teenage daughter's minds and playing incessantly on their iPods. I won't aim lower, I'll just use the shotgun approach. My motivational emails that I get sent to me every day tell me that the first step to making your dreams is to take them out of your heart and into your head. Now they're on my blog!

1/ Actually getting a job in my field.
OR, as a back-up, in forgeting about being financially stable for awhile and:
2/ Focusing full time on music to ultimately be a rockstar. OR
3/ The somewhat practical but boring one: Ditch PR for the time being and build up experience in the office environment doing drone work like data entry or something.

I figure being a rock star is kind of like PR, but it's relating to the music, relating through sound rather than measureable objectives and not having to deal with all the strategizing, superficiality and stress. Then I can not care about a flimsy little target market, I can live on the road, I can be a misfit but I'll play nice, slow, seductive music, not just baby-makin music. Screw the public! Screw having a 9-5 complacent, budgeting, benefits accumulating, always-one-eye-in-the-back-of-your-head, yes-manning, dead weighted, paper-pushing, "professional" lifestyle. If that doesn't work, (I HOPE that doesn't work in a way. I'd rather skip it!) I'll find some way of doing what I want.

So folks, I hope to stop whining about my unemployment woes soon but I thought I'd just keep you updated. Have sweet dreams and keep them tight!



Blogger Maddy said...

you are a wonderful
inspiring man and whoever
gets you working for them
needs to pay you a kazillion
dollars because you are YOU.

don't worry - it's incubating!

11:05 p.m.  
Blogger Cocaine Jesus said...

and when you make that kazillion please hire me as i too am out of work! must be the company that i keep.

3:20 a.m.  
Blogger toobusyliving said...

Seems like everyone got an email from you telling them how much fun you had.....except me :(

9:38 a.m.  
Anonymous Adorable Girlfriend said...

I am so bummed I missed the BBQ. I am dying to know what a few of the bloggers look like. Glad a good time was had by all.

11:06 a.m.  

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