Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Sir Barrett Finally Finishes School

News Release
-For immediate release-
Kitchener, Ontario, CAN -Sir Barrett wrapped up his nineteen years of schooling today amidst a flurry of giddy students after passing the final Capstone project with flying colours.
His group presented the case of We-Recruit, a fictional recruitment company that was facing potential reputational damage for referring an employee that turned out not to have the engineering degree like he stated he did in the interviews. Their presentation outlined the strategy for communicating and rectifying the issue. It included a Powerpoint presentation, media kits (prepared by Sir Barrett himself) and bottles of pure water for the panelists.
Sir Barrett and his group waited anxiously in the hall while the panel of judges decided whether or not they had prepared and presented a good 48-hour crisis management plan or not. If anything was amiss -a faulty measureable objective or a verbal blooper in answering a question, it would have meant failure. This meant that tensions were running high for the group at that moment, with one of their members remarking that "if [they didn't] pass, [they] would cry and probably throw up." Thankfully, Sir Barrett and his team were congratulated on a job well done!
Now that his educational career is finally complete, Sir Barrett can turn his mind to more long-term goals such as survival, procreation and overall enjoyment of life. When asked how he feels about being done, Sir Barrett chose his words wisely, commenting that he was "glad."
Hugs were shared with teachers and co-students alike, and a picture was taken of the PR stars together. The students will still have another chance to see each other later this week as they celebrate their achievements at a graduation ceremony organized by the first year PR class. They will also have one more web design class where they will get to mingle with each other one last time. According to anonymous sources, Sir Barrett will be bringing guacamole to the potluck, although at this point that information cannot be confirmed.

Filed under General Announcements


Blogger Jason said...

Congratulations on graduating and on getting the new job.

You have plenty of resources here, so don't worry.

2:46 p.m.  
Blogger mistipurple said...

Congratulations! I wish you a great life, procreating and working, not in that order though.

5:49 p.m.  
Blogger Darius said...

Congratulations. Maybe the waiting in the hall thing is a near universal endpoint of higher education, I had that too...

7:52 p.m.  
Blogger madamerouge said...


9:39 p.m.  
Blogger Maddy said...

well, goooood for Barrett!!!

sound of cheering and whistles
and happy hand clapping
and all that jazz...

9:51 p.m.  
Blogger Lorena said...

guacamole yummy!

congratulations barrett!!!! hope you have a great time celebrating.
you deserve it :)

11:34 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congrats on it!

(P.S. I would have fired the fuck out of the hypothetical guy who lied about his degree, and slapped him too, RuPaul style)

7:42 a.m.  
Anonymous Adorable Girlfriend said...

Congrats on graduation and the new job. I hope we get to meet in May when I am back in T-town!

Good luck with everything.

10:01 a.m.  
Blogger Darius said...

Btw, just my luck, started my blog and immediately blogspot developed some kind of temporary glitch.

My url IS valid if anyone's tried it without success... Just have to wait for the blogspot storm to blow over... thanks...

11:41 a.m.  
Blogger Vesper said...

congrats!!!!!!! woohooooooooo

12:03 p.m.  
Blogger Prmod Bafna said...

wooohooo! Congrats on the graduation and the job! Wish you all the best and a great life ahead!! :)

12:18 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

no fair i wanted to be first!!!

CONGRATS and kisses !!!

you rockstar!

1:53 p.m.  
Blogger Chloe said...

congratulations my sweet.
sending kisses, hugs, and yellow butterflies. xxxx

7:40 p.m.  
Blogger J said...

Congrats, dude. Looking forward to saying the same thing in about 3.5 years. Sigh.

11:09 p.m.  
Blogger wrr said...



Here's affirming your fulfillment, prosperity, good health and all the love your heart can hold, and so it is.

4:33 a.m.  
Blogger toobusyliving said...


Now more poetry please.

9:00 a.m.  
Blogger finnegan said...

A tousled head of hair for your successful efforts and a hearty handshake with nuts on top.

12:35 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm so hungry I could cry...thanks for your comment about your delicious potluck, it almost killed me....my mouth was watering...shall I go on???????

1:54 p.m.  
Blogger transience said...

how awesome! now i came back just in time to think fond thoughts of you, you and you. :)

11:42 p.m.  
Anonymous Adorable Girlfriend said...

No answer? We need details on the new job.


12:30 p.m.  
Blogger sirbarrett said...

jimmy -Thanks, you people are really key to this whole transition. I can't thank you enough.

mistipurple -I guess I need to find someone to procreate with as a first step. Unfortunately I don't asexually multiply like amoeba do.

darius -Is it for academic betterment or is it simply for the purposes of torture?

maddy -I liked the saxophone solo in the middle.

lorena -I ate so much at the potluck. I can't control myself. I think I'll need stomach staples.

captain bee -yes, fire the fuck is what would have happened, but I forgot to mention in the scenario that he resigned. I did however get a question about how we would approach this issue given that the CEO and him were close friends. I said "well, considering our new policy and our commitment as an organization to consistency, while we would support a personal relationship with the CEO in question but we would have to terminate our professional one."

adorable girlfriend -Thanks for the encouragement, unfortunately life throws you a curve ball sometimes. I counted my eggs too soon regarding the new job. It was not what I was expecting at all, so I was forced to turn it down. With a degree, diverse experience and a diploma under my belt I couldn't accept working for criminal wages. IT TURNS OUT THEY WANTED TO OFFER ME $500/MONTH NOT A WEEK (no joke) FOR FULL TIME. I am not a professional dumpster-diver so I am back to the drawing board. Of course this is a disappointment but aren't most things in the short term? I am confident that my path to a successful financial future is on it's way and I am making sure of it.

Let me know when you are in town. Whether or not I make it there by then, I will come see you.

vesper -If I yell any more I'm going to lose my voice. Thanks for taking up the torch.

prmod bafna -Graduation: check! Job: I'll take you best wishes for endurance. More interviews come Monday.

Mitzee -One of us is a rockstar and one of us is apparently a lounge singer. I'm not sure which is more impressive. Either way, all musicians know how to lurve.

Chloe -I pollenated on one of your butterflies. I assume that is what it wanted from me.

J -Just think: 3.5 years is just a fraction of the time it took to build the pyramids.

wrr -"My heart is broke, but I have some glue. Help me inhale and mend it with you. We'll float around and hang out on clouds and then we'll come down and have a hangover" -Nirvana

toobusyliving -Forwarding your request to management. They'll get on my ass.

finnegan -I've never had a handshake with nuts on top so, obviously, I am quite flattered!

transience -I'm glad to have you back, your highness.

adorable girlfriend -Again, as much as it pains me not to have details, I will try to keep you updated on new opportunities from here on in. The job was a PR firm opportunity with a company with diverse projects and an energetic staff. Unfortunately we were looking for different things.

3:37 p.m.  
Blogger Paul said...

Hi Sirbarrett - and congratulations. Can you email me on the spiritualdiablog email link using an address where I can get back to you to touch bases?

10:28 a.m.  
Blogger J said...

"Just think: 3.5 years is just a fraction of the time it took to build the pyramids"

Exactly. I like to think of time in terms of fractions and percentages (perhaps as a byproduct of being a logical, left-brained Computer Scientist). I often comfort myself by thinking that if the average Canadian male lives for 72 years, then 3.5 years represents only 4.86% of my life. Makes me feel better when I realize that it's relatively insignificant.

On the other hand, one could also calculate that the 23 years I will have spent in academia by the time I finish will represent 31.94% of my life. Yeesh.

Here's hoping the other 68.06% will be more relaxing.

11:51 p.m.  

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