Monday, April 03, 2006

Jealousy of the Nameless Darkness

Turning off the light at night
I know this is the last time I will see myself today
or anything for that matter

I hold onto the moment
indecisively
wondering whether there is anything more to elucidate on
whether there might be something I can solve
some mystery or
anything pretty enough to want to burn into my retinas
before I turn myself over
wanting a life-boat to float on
until the waves of impression crush all my memories
scatter thought

I dawdle like a child at the edge of a swimming pool
I don't want to act out death
I don't want to end the dream that wakes up in another
I am not afraid of the dark, it is just a surface
but I am afraid of what it might bring

maybe I am stubborn

I try to see something in the light
that is better to savour
because it is saved for last

is that superstition?

maybe I should just spend everything I have
heave myself carelessly
unravel and give out

Because I didn't see your face today, or the sun catching the soft down on your arm, or
even hear your voice for that matter
So I suppose those questions are better left to experts:
People who never starve for your affection
People whose skill somehow surpasses their intellect
People who get away with everything
laughing

They never go to sleep worried

If they do
They keep secrets well tucked under eyelids

Filed under Poetry
@Copyright 2006 Sirbarrett

15 Comments:

Blogger Lorena said...

i'm so glad you posted another poem. i love it. i love that i didn't know where it was leading too.
i love your flow of thoughts.
it's so vivid and deep.

that last line....Wow. i should learn to keep secrets.

(more poems please!)

11:52 PM  
Blogger toobusyliving said...

Wow...I enjoyed that...it was my bedtime poem after seeing a hideous video on jimmy's blog.

12:16 AM  
Blogger Cocaine Jesus said...

i'm with lorena on this, more poetry please.
i enjoyed the way 'the fog' furls and unfurls but never really clears leaving a fuge of mystery.
super.

5:30 AM  
Blogger Frap Gurl said...

Nice to wake up and read this! I have been quite the narcoleptic lately and fall asleep quickly..

6:31 AM  
Blogger Kimberly said...

Remarkably frightening and impressive. More.

6:33 AM  
Blogger Pincushion said...

Very intellectually stimulating and the last line said it all..

'They keep secrets well tucked under eyelids'

I love how it meanders from one thought to another.....
:)

10:04 AM  
Blogger GEL said...

Hi,
As one who loves the night yet sleep is often elusive, I related well to this drowsy and insightful lullaby. Adore "They keep their secrets well-tucked under eyelids"!. THat evokes several different meanings of shut eye.

11:25 AM  
Blogger Carrie said...

of course they keep secrets under their eyelids...smiles are part of the mask.

11:37 AM  
Anonymous Adorable Girlfriend said...

This is a valuable post. What I want to know was why the man on my red eye flight last night affixed white stickers to his eye lids. It was very bizarre. Can I get a judgement on this?

5:06 PM  
Blogger Maddy said...

people who never starve for your
affection

I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU ARE SO COOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(I know I starve for someone's
affection...)

6:36 PM  
Blogger Prmod Bafna said...

Lovely poem! Loved the twisting thoughtflow!! you definitely should write more, as is the common sentiment! Cheers :)

3:15 AM  
Blogger Jason said...

Holy, everyone is getting so deep, maybe I'm shallow.

11:43 AM  
Blogger Maddy said...

came back to read it again
-splendid

12:27 PM  
Anonymous Trash said...

Great work Jesus!!

3:10 AM  
Blogger sirbarrett said...

Lorena -No, secrets are unhealthy, although I suppose "what you don't know can't hurt you". Unfortunately, often times that's a lie.

toobusyliving -Yeah, Jimmy's blog scares me sometimes, in a good way. Then I have to hide under the covers.

cocaine jesus -Cool, well, finally some more poetry is up for you. You have the style figured out.

frap gurl -I hear you. Narcolepsy is so inconvenient sometimes, like when you're operating heavy machinery or conducting an interview.

kimberly -I hoped to give you some goosebumps.

pincushion -I've always had a wandering mind. It was nice weather outside today!

*silvermoon* -Yeah, I wrote it as I debated going to bed. I have to fight myself to get there.

mitzzee -We're watching them closely.

AG -Maybe he just wanted to be different?

maddy -No you're cool.

prmod bafna -From one poet to another, I am flattered.

jimmy -You're like a "shallow" ocean that people drown in every day.

maddy -nice new picture!

Trash -Thanks apostle. Let's have supper together again soon. It won't be our last.

10:23 PM  

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