Bloat Alert!

This is me. I bet you didn't know that I was a big fat cow.

Well, basically the theme of my elongated (elongated because I was pushed out of my volunteer stint at the think tank by some intercepting international researcher so I had Monday off due to joblessness) weekend was that I went around to various BBQ's and had people feed me. (God! I wish I was more elongated. Then this wouldn't matter so much!) I went to one place and had steaks and shishkabobs and chutneys and fine italian breads, then another in the big city...then added to it after sleeping off some of the bloat by bringing it back with a huge pile of Chinese takeout. The result was that I've been getting a bit...puffier lately.

I haven't been jogging regularly since I sprained my ankle and this I blame for my corpulence. I am now dangerously vulnerable to being put on Go Fug Yourself's Celebrity Bloat Terror Alert along with Luke Wilson, or at least I would be, if I were a celebrity.

But things are on the up and up my friends. With my relapse of jogging which was commenced yesterday, and a new-spawned disciplinary drive, I hope to bring myself down to ELEVATED from "HIGH: GOD MAN GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!" bloat terror level.

In other general news the Edmonton Oilers hung on in last night's match, winning it in overtime with an unlikely breakaway by Pisani. It is my oldest sister's birthday today! I went out with old friends and danced to retro music last night and I love that "Crazy" video by Gnarls Barkley.

I have also finally (FINALLY!!) got a job as a hotel Front Desk 'Guest Representative' where, despite its not being PR, despite its shifts being completely whacked, despite its entry wage, is a somewhat decent job. I have been complaining about this forever so, alas, I at least have something that prevents me from going on welfare. My friend, who is leaving for the big city, kindly referred me for the job and he has the pleasure of training me. I am not elated with the position but I have nothing to complain about. Just like a rose being a rose, a job is a job is a job. I can build up my Customer Service, Sales and Reception skills while I look around and look ahead.

The nice thing is I get to stay indoors in air conditioning. I don't have to operate a jack-hammer or lift weights. I wear a tie, keep my fingernails clean and don french cuffs while I answer phones, document 'walk-ins' and ensure that every guest at our hotel is completely satisfied with our services.

Personal Diegesis