Thursday, June 15, 2006

Bloat Alert!

This is me. I bet you didn't know that I was a big fat cow.

Well, basically the theme of my elongated (elongated because I was pushed out of my volunteer stint at the think tank by some intercepting international researcher so I had Monday off due to joblessness) weekend was that I went around to various BBQ's and had people feed me. (God! I wish I was more elongated. Then this wouldn't matter so much!) I went to one place and had steaks and shishkabobs and chutneys and fine italian breads, then another in the big city...then added to it after sleeping off some of the bloat by bringing it back with a huge pile of Chinese takeout. The result was that I've been getting a bit...puffier lately.

I haven't been jogging regularly since I sprained my ankle and this I blame for my corpulence. I am now dangerously vulnerable to being put on Go Fug Yourself's Celebrity Bloat Terror Alert along with Luke Wilson, or at least I would be, if I were a celebrity.

But things are on the up and up my friends. With my relapse of jogging which was commenced yesterday, and a new-spawned disciplinary drive, I hope to bring myself down to ELEVATED from "HIGH: GOD MAN GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!" bloat terror level.

In other general news the Edmonton Oilers hung on in last night's match, winning it in overtime with an unlikely breakaway by Pisani. It is my oldest sister's birthday today! I went out with old friends and danced to retro music last night and I love that "Crazy" video by Gnarls Barkley.

I have also finally (FINALLY!!) got a job as a hotel Front Desk 'Guest Representative' where, despite its not being PR, despite its shifts being completely whacked, despite its entry wage, is a somewhat decent job. I have been complaining about this forever so, alas, I at least have something that prevents me from going on welfare. My friend, who is leaving for the big city, kindly referred me for the job and he has the pleasure of training me. I am not elated with the position but I have nothing to complain about. Just like a rose being a rose, a job is a job is a job. I can build up my Customer Service, Sales and Reception skills while I look around and look ahead.

The nice thing is I get to stay indoors in air conditioning. I don't have to operate a jack-hammer or lift weights. I wear a tie, keep my fingernails clean and don french cuffs while I answer phones, document 'walk-ins' and ensure that every guest at our hotel is completely satisfied with our services.

Personal Diegesis


Blogger Frap Gurl said...

Cute pic! Congrats on the job sweety!

3:55 p.m.  
Blogger Maddy said...

You need to go do yoga!
Yummy to barbecue's -
you and Nabeel have the knack.

6:51 p.m.  
Blogger J said...

Good man, congrats.

What ever happened with Symposium? The last I read, their chef quit and the guy was all bitchy on the phone and wasn't sure if/when you should come back. Did I miss an update on that, or did nothing more ever come of it?

6:02 a.m.  
Blogger mistipurple said...

ya. a job is a job is a job. congrats! and going round to bbqs sounds perfect too! and what's your real name?? haha.

7:30 a.m.  
Blogger Jason said...

Hopefully I'll see you the next time you're in town.

Will you be down next weekend?

Congrats on the job. Remember, MR did this job so he can help if you have questions.

2:06 p.m.  
Blogger sirbarrett said...

frap gurl -Hey nice pic yourself! Thanx.

maddy -I DO need to do yoga that's what I'm hearing all around! It would help my concentration too. Nabeel knows the score (and you two are secretly in love)

j -Re: Symposium, that job fizzled out. I did an update here:
PS-how do I post a link in comments section?

mistipurple -What's your favorite colour?

jason -Even if we didn't see each other, it would be neat to hear each others voices in a dark room or something but, unfortunately this weekend I'm swamped with work, a Stag and Doe and a gig playing "Cat's Cradle" in a church for Father's Day. Just like the song: I'm sure I'll see you soon "and we'll have a good time then son, you know we'll have a good time then."

3:10 p.m.  
Blogger joe said...

congrats on the job! nice cow by the way.

2:16 a.m.  
Blogger finnegan said...

This post makes me want to have a cow. Udderly silly, I realize, but I've got to milk things for all they're worth.

6:54 a.m.  

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