Monday, July 04, 2005

Jazzme, Bébé, Montrëal-style

Oui, c'est vrai. J'ai fait une petite èvasion, -plongé dans la cyclone de musique. Je suis allé à la feste du Jazz à Montrêal. C'ETAIT HYPERCOOL!!! *

-ê? Non. Ce n'est pas correct. ç? Nope. ¢?+?¶? NAO!! ê? Proche.-

Une chose que quelques <> ne sait pas, c'est que, quand vous voulez dire: <>, vous ne disent pas "Montree-all", vous ne le disez pas comme ça. Vous ne disez pas le "t" non plus!! C'est "Mooooooorrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal"!!!

Oh la la!! Parfait!!! Vous êtes trës intelligent etudiants!@! *

Une autre chose que quelques <> ne comprennent pas, c'est comment trouver les boutons sur le keypad, pour faire des accents come â,ç,è,è,(alt+138). Sur notres ordinateur, c'est difficile de souvenir les codes des lettres.* That's my problem, mais je suis vite!! But je vais enseigner moi-meme pour ameliorer mes abilites de accents dans l'avenir. Maintenownant, right avant your yeux, je shift å L'english. *

It was an event to keep you racing. Savouring the seductive tunes of jazz-fest, supposedly either one of the largest, or THE largest jazz fest worldwide!!!

There were millions of people gathered to get a piece of the musical action going on all over Montreal!! Bands came in from around the world and nearby to play their songs, and lay their souls on smooth, sultry rhythums and wailing voices.

We got to Montreal at 4am on Thursday night, and slept. Then on Saturday we woke up to jubilant drums and parades on the street. We went for lunch at an Indian buffet called the Mahara and strolled around watching the parades. We ended up near the Molson plant at night for the Canada day celebrations. There was a megatron and people packed to see a flamenco style band. The guitarist basically went up and down the scale, but at oscillating rhythums, making the mood full of intense latin fever. I was woken up from my deep immersion in the music when the samba squad came out blowing whistles and banging giant drums. Later we saw the biggest fireworks I've ever seen. Wow did they invest in those incendiaries!

The next day we hiked around Mont Royal and went to see that electric light cross that is visible from most of Montreal. It was a hot day and we stopped at a lodge. The air was thick and smoggy. Then a thunderstorm broke out. It was such a violent storm that everyone was driven inside except for one couple romantically making out in the rain. It blew sideways and came down in torrents, cleaning the air of the humidity. When it was done I saw some interesting bands of colour and I ran out to the edge of the lookout point to catch one big long rainbow.

That night we saw Fathead -a techno-ish funky band, some calypso, reggae, and the generic jazz and blues. The one act that blew me out of the water was "Son of Dave" a one-man show. He had a harmonic that flipped open like a phone and could be used as a microphone as well. He would play one phrase then sing a phrase, then it would loop. It was amazing how he would beatbox with his own voice and then that would repeat as the percussion to his own harmonica music and singing. At one point he made some cricket and frog noises then had them go on by themselves while he sat down for a sip of beer. It gave the impression we were in the outback on our rocking chairs with no one around for miles, and this is with millions around.

On sunday we packed up and left the place. We were all tired and it was hard to get back to reality after a long (well, three day) vacation like that. Now it's been a week of work and I'm rushing to have some leisure again. It's up to cottage country for Chris's annual pig-roast.

Excuse the abandonment of the "è" as the author of this narrative has decided to make a political statement about the implementation and representation of the "è". He simply cannot be bothered to expend the energy and the concentration to memorize seemingly thousands of hypothetical options of key combinations that exist on a keyboard required to execute proper french spelling. No need for offense if offense need not be taken. Although, with an author arrogant to write something like this as if it were a sincere defense against... hmm. Though, if an author, be they male or female, or circumcized or have a purple sash ?Howard? were to spend their time typing about "è" to the extent to which this author types the letter "è" once he has learned to (he or she or le or la or this or that or celui or celui-la or celles-ci or it) musn't one consider the redundancy and worthlessness of taking the time to explain it?

I'm not a french teacher, and I don't use translators. I'm just playin with y'all,...but THAT's how you say it, as far as I can tell. That's how they say it in Montrèal.

Some keyboards are designed to have several keys for the same letter, though different accents. On most people's keyboards, you have to fiddle with the alt key and the number keys.

By now, you should be able to tell that I'm just being completely silly: over-sidenoting and bastardizing both english and french, as languages, with strict rules about how to use symbols, accents, logical grammar and content. I'm just trying to create a bit of the mood by giving a shot at the language. I've studied it until my brain exploded and Salvador Dali jumped out. Stop ruining it!! Say you love Quèbec!!!

...Opps! Wrong "e" again.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sounds just fabulously fun! So happy for you....Montreal is so beautiful and a jazz fest to say tomato, i say tomAto, Salvador Dali, btw. nice post...very enjoyable.

11:17 a.m.  
Blogger joe said...

i love Montreal and i love Quebec City too. sounds like you had a blast. by the way, when I type French, i just switch the keyboard to French Canadian keyboard, and then carry on typing without having to use the alt key. :D

8:19 p.m.  

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