You're Trying to Eat Dinner but you Sister's a Nurse
And she won't shup up about the birth she just witnessed. She just started in the maternity ward. You're trying to focus on your stew. Then there are other medical stories to relate. Furthermore, your mother is an eye doctor and the two find the table a perfect place for anecdotes about patients:
"They had to remove the plascenta vaginally!"
"Some doctors are brutal."
"So much cutting you could hear it crunching and the scissors squeaking. It was so loud!"
"So they almost killed her?"
"You could just see it quivering in a pool of blood."
"It's head looked like two heads, with a little head on top. It wasn't like a cone-head. It was a head, then a lump."
"It's like squeezing a grape."
"My patient was complaining that she was in so much pain..."
"...but her eyeballs were frozen (with anaesthetic)."
"Her pee-tube came out then she was felt bubbles coming up and she was frothing."
"They said it was because they were supposed to have her sitting up, not lying down."
"It was SO cute!!"
"They had to remove the plascenta vaginally!"
"Some doctors are brutal."
"So much cutting you could hear it crunching and the scissors squeaking. It was so loud!"
"So they almost killed her?"
"You could just see it quivering in a pool of blood."
"It's head looked like two heads, with a little head on top. It wasn't like a cone-head. It was a head, then a lump."
"It's like squeezing a grape."
"My patient was complaining that she was in so much pain..."
"...but her eyeballs were frozen (with anaesthetic)."
"Her pee-tube came out then she was felt bubbles coming up and she was frothing."
"They said it was because they were supposed to have her sitting up, not lying down."
"It was SO cute!!"
posted by sirbarrett at 7:58 p.m.
10 Comments:
Thanks for posting a comment over at The Imperfect Parent. In light of what I wrote about (my horrible fear of all things labor-related), this post is funny to read in a thanks-for-scaring-the-hell-outta-me-even-more kinda way. But really, thanks for your comment over there and this post WAS pretty funny....she said, wincing. :)
Dude, I love it!
UC's sister is like that except it always involves discussions of bowel related functions.
i am trying to take my supper.
My sister is a doctor. I've been there. We roomed together when she was in med school and I was an undergrad. I feel your pain.
i laughed too hard my fragile heart just shook free of my ribcage.
thanks, barrett. needed that.
mommy off the record -I got a hoot out of your pregnancy story too. As I said, hopefully it is a little easier the second time around, as some people report, though I'm starting to think moms have a secret competition going on to be the toughest as if they want to pretend pregnancy is only as painful as a little pinprick.
adorable girlfriend -Yes, to be a nurse you must constantly deal with bowels.
mistipurple -And I am trying to take it back out of you.
enemy of the republic -Goodness! Doctors are the worst people! They go around saving lives and all that sort of thing!
{illyria} -Glad you got a giggle. Now stop laughing so violently!
Well you can have walkman ...LOL...Well bring a new human being on earth it seems sos...Just kidding
Seriously, why do doctors love poking people's eyeballs so much. What's the point?
I long for the good old days when dudes lounged in the waiting room for the announcement of the birth of their child.
I really don't want to witness the miracle of birth. I saw it in a video before. I didn't think it was marvelous. If, by chance, I ever get married and have a kid...I need not witness the birth first hand. What can I say? I'm old school.
Yeah, I hear you B. Every since Kim started as a nurse, she comes home with all kinds of lovely hospital stories. For some reason, she seems to get real chatty whenever I'm eating.
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